A prelude to pride
Personal experience with fighting fear and campus homophobia
Jess Osborne
Issue date: 4/9/08 Section: Opinions
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Gay? Yes, we'll get that out of the way first off. For those who don't know me, you may have seen me around campus and using the usual stereotypes, I "look" gay. In any event, that's not the grand point of this commentary, but Colby's environment has a lot to do with how comfortable I feel being me, and part of my identity is being gay.
Let's first go back in time to freshman year. Oh freshman year, when everything was so new, and for most all of us, we could if we desired, reinvent ourselves since high school was far behind us. College comes with new beginnings, right? Well, yes in many ways, and there certainly were for me. To make a potentially long story short, I will say this: I felt more comfortable here on the Colby campus than I ever had in high school or in my hometown. Coming to accept myself for who I am became much easier, and after nervously attending some Bridge events, I confirmed my own feelings and came out. Using a cliché, it felt as if an enormous weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I had found a community in the Bridge that accepted me, and an environment on campus that seemed to foster acceptance, too.
All that said, even on a liberal campus such as Colby, some feel that being gay is wrong, and this is what I want to talk to you all about. I would usually preface any of this with apologies for sounding pissed off and whiny (which is a kind word), but not today. I'm standing up for me and my own life because I truly want to be proud of who I am and not be afraid to show it. With Pride Week coming, it's important to remember that as much fun as we have celebrating, being proud is also about being unafraid to express yourself. I will be very honest, however, and say that as accepting as this campus claims to be, I've been scared to walk around alone. I know this fear may seem irrational and overblown, but it's not. I have reason to be afraid when Pride posters are torn down and derogatory words are written on doors. I have reason to be afraid when a male student points at me angrily and makes a comment about "People like that..." I don't want to be afraid any more.


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