Style, men, and those pink shorts they wear
Tajreen Hedayet
Issue date: 9/16/09 Section: Opinions
|
Unfortunately, however, the Well-Dressed Male is most often hidden amongst the coral-colored shorts or dirty sweatshirts of his less-evolved brethren, the Average Dudes. I recently decided to spend a week combining my love of men and fashion by studying the sartorial inclinations of the boys of our illustrious school, risking life and limb (and a few awkward glances) for the preservation and betterment of taste. Here are my findings.
Whether I was enjoying a bit of vanilla yogurt in Cotter Union or lurking by Johnson Pond, there was one offense I saw repeatedly being committed by Average Dudes everywhere. It baffled me why so many shapely shoulders and taut biceps were shrouded by short sleeves that were too big or long sleeves that were too loose. In fact, the prevalence for badly fitted clothing is so common that you'd think the majority of guys haven't grown out of their awkward high-school years.
Why would you do this, boys of Colby College? Are you still stuck on the "don't worry, you'll grow into it" mentality that your mothers instilled in you when buying clothes for school? I assure you, that rule stops applying at age 17, and whether you're lanky or athletically built, you will benefit from throwing on a shirt to see if it fits before stepping out of the store with it. The danger of not doing so is dire; guys can get aged down several years when wearing shirts or pants too big for them (and who really wants a look that's a hark back to puberty?). Worse, if he throws on a blazer or button-down that's too large, the Average Dude looks as if he dove into his father's closet and absconded with clothes that aren't his. (That particular offense is exacerbated if your blazers are three-buttoned. Avoid the dangerous three-or-more-buttoned blazers entirely, unless you are 35 or have Giorgio Armani himself fitting you for your suits.)
Another problem circulating like a virulent strain of H1N1 is the popularity of shorts in the coral, seafoam, or general pastel pink or green family. I will probably anger many a golfer and sailor on campus with this statement, but let there be no doubt: on men, anything coral or mint-green colored below the waist will never, ever be flattering. I understand the idea of a relaxed, still-on-vacation look that you think these bottoms may invoke, but don't be fooled. It's not personal preference that dictates why these are poor choices; it is because they-aside from having the ability to make any guy look completely ridiculous-rely heavily on the late-80s yuppie color palette from the same era that served as a set for films like American Psycho and Wall Street. And really, few among us ladies will fall over ourselves to nab the attention of a guy sporting a Gordon-Gekko-visits-Miami look.
Be the first to comment on this story